Once Enemies
by EmbryStarr
Summary: Rowlaena Fanfic! Celaena is only two weeks into her training with Rowan, and an ever growing loathing towards him is beginning to melt away into something else... With a creature out to get her, will she and Rowan manage to get along in order to keep her alive? What is this protective side of rowan now showing? Rated M for swearing and possible sexual content later on. Graphic!
1. Chapter 1

(Hello, there! I have written a few fanfics on here and have just finished the latest Throne of Glass novel, Heir of Fire and I won't lie... it broke my heart when I realized that Rowan and Celaena are just FRIENDS. Yeah, they are on the highest level that friends could ever become, but I know that I wasn't the only one whose heart dropped upon realizing that it would never progress farther than that! So, I decided that I would feed the hungry souls, like mine, that weren't satisfied with Sarah J. Maas's final decision. That's right, your very own Rowlaena fanfic!

Ps. If any of you are tumblr users, check out my Throne of Glass blog at this website, you won't be disappointed! I will be discussing the fanfic and anything else Throne of Glass related with anyone who decides to have a look-see. Follow me! )

I woke up to the sound of rapping, being pulled out of a dream that was already fading away fast, leaving me with a strange emotion I could not put a name to; but I decided that I found the emotion unpleasant. My hair tangled around my hand as I moved to roll over, thinking that somehow that would block the noise out.

"Wake up. You are already late for your morning duties."

The unpleasant voice broke through my thoughts as they were already fading back into a deep slumber. Groaning, I pulled my hand free from it's confinement of hair and pulled my pillow over my head, making it more uncomfortable seeing as it is my only pillow; but I didn't care, the annoying voice wouldn't go away if I didn't cover my ears somehow.

"Do you want me to come in there?"

The voice, although muffled now, resonated through my thin pillow and I recognized a threatening undertone. Even though my eyes were covered by half of my pillow, I squeezed my eyes shut, as small pieces of realization began to break free from my grogginess. I am in a guard camp in the wild part of Wendlyn, closer to Doranelle than the human city I had been in not less than a couple weeks ago. I am stuck here due to the Fae Queen, Maeve, making me train under her loyal servant, _Prince _Rowan Whitethorn until he decides that my skills are good enough to grant me passage to Doranelle, the heart of the Fae country here. This was a mess. I need Maeve to answer my questions about the Wyrdkeys so I can-

Suddenly my thin, scrappy excuse for a blanket was pulled off of me with such ferocious speed that it practically whipped me. My automatic instincts were to reach out and grab it before it was gone so I could pull it back over me, keeping out the cold damp of the morning still clinging to the air. As I tried to reach out and grab at it blindly, suddenly my pillow was hurled off of my face as well, letting the cold sunlight blind me as my eyes opened in shock and seething anger.

Before I could even stop reaching out for my blanket pathetically, someone's warm but rough hand enclosed over my wrist tightly, squeezing just enough to the point to make me wince at the pinching of the joint. Trying to pull my hand out of their grasp angrily, I was suddenly pulled up against my will, my half closed eyes bringing a face into my vision. Sharp features, rugged expression, and silver hair. The main things that sprung to my vision were the pine green irises and bared canines. Rowan did not look happy... in fact, he looked as if he were about to tear a few chunks of my throat out and hurl them across the room.

"Get. up." His hot breath made the wisps of my pale blonde hair part like curtains to get out of the way of the sharpness of his words. I squinted my eyes shut with each word he said, especially with the finalizing "Now."

Upon his last word, my wrist was dropped from his grasp like a hot coal, and I grumbled to myself as I rubbed one of my eyes with one hand and ran my fingers through my tangled mess of hair with the other. "You know, with that tone, I think you are less of a morning person than I am. And that's saying a lot."

As I gazed at him blearily, yawning in the process, I watched him retreat, his back straight and obviously seething as he walked out of my room. "If you are not in the kitchen in the next two minutes, I will drag you out there, dressed or not dressed." With a slam of my door, I could not help but roll my eyes and quietly mimic his condescending tone as I got out of my bed, grabbing the new set of clothes that had been left here at some point in the night. I still was not sure who was doing it, but it could definitely not be Rowan based upon him being an inhuman, emotionless bastard.

Me and him were not getting along in the least. After the first few days here, getting a split lip from him fighting me when I baited him, not to mention the black eye after he slammed my head onto a rock from my failure to shift upon his command, I definitely did not see him as anything more than someone who I begrudgingly had to train with in order to get Maeve to see me. Although, with my luck so far, I was never going to see her.

My Exhaustion this morning was due to the fact that yesterday Rowan had gotten so upset that I was not shifting, he forced me to split wood well into the night, making me miss dinner and only throwing me a small loaf of bread as he finally let me go off to bed. I grumbled once more out of anger as I glanced at my now calloused and blistering hands from handling an ax for such a long amount of time.

As I managed to pull on my boots, I walked over to the threshold, opening the door, half expecting to see a snarling Rowan about to barge in, but as soon as I stepped into the hallway, I glanced towards the end of the hall, only to see a flick of silver hair before it disappeared around the corner. This was the first time I had not woken up on time for my scullery duties, and it would be the last if I had to deal with that raging Fae again.

Shrugging my jacket on from the cold chill in the air, I headed down to the kitchen. As soon as I walked in, Emrys glanced at me, then hobbled over to the ovens pretending he did not even see me, but I knew that he was waiting to see if I was going to walk in this morning. My black eye was still just as nasty looking this morning, and I bet my life that he was wondering if I had received even more damage from yesterdays training with Rowan, maybe even enough to keep me in bed. The thought of the old man pitying me or worrying about me made me want to retch. An energetic greeting from Luca pulled me from my thoughts as I headed over to the counter to begin cutting the vegetables as per usual, and I nodded in his direction.

The morning went by as it always did, non-stop vegetable cutting, glares from Emrys mate every time he entered the kitchen, and listening to Luca's prattling on to anyone and everyone who would lend an ear. Even though the entire scene in itself was a nuisance to me, it was far better than having to be around the cold and heartless Rowan Whitethorn. I would be lying if I were to think that I even tolerated having to be alone with that male; the morning duties went by far too quickly due to the ever growing dread rising in me that I was soon to have to be training with him again this afternoon.

As the morning bustle finally died down, I sat at the table and began to tear into the leftovers from breakfast, feeling as if Emrys always made sure that there was plenty left for me. I resisted the urge to glare as I felt both his and Luca's eyes on me. They always seemed amazed at how much food I could take in. This morning was not an exception due to Rowan tossing a loaf of bread at me as I shuffled back to my rooms well into the night. Halfway through with my food, feeling the black hole within my stomach slowly beginning to be filled in, I felt a new presence enter the kitchens, pulling Emrys's and Luca's gazes off of me, making them turn away quickly to return to their duties.

Ignoring the presence, knowing full well that he knew I knew he was there, I continued to scoop potatoes and eggs into my mouth, keeping my eyes focused on my plate. Quiet, but enforced footsteps approached the table and I tried to keep from flinching as the loud scraping of a chair resounded through the now silent awkwardness. I gritted my teeth for a moment as Rowan sat down right next to me, and rested his elbow on the table out of the corner of my eye. He was staring right at me, I could feel it. His cheek resting on his fist in a somewhat out of character position, obviously making a point. Oh well, it was better than being pulled away from the table and dragged outside right in front of Emrys and Luca. For a few silent moments, I ignored him, refusing to acknowledge his staring, but my willpower broke for a split second, allowing my eyes to slide over and glance at him.

There he was, sitting there with an expression that I can only describe as pissed off, yet mocking. Before I could stop it, that thing where I could practically hear what he was thinking resonated through me. _Enjoying your food, princess? Take your time, don't mind me. _His eyes almost gleamed with a smugness, but it couldn't be possible. I must have imagined it.

Straightening up, I now gazed at him full on, my eyes narrowing into a glare, practically snarling in response back to him with my own silent words. _Bastard._

Before the telepathic communication could continue any further, I lurched up from the table, my chair almost falling onto its back as I stormed out of the room, not even grabbing my plate to set near the sink with all of the other dirty dishes for Luca to clean up. I didn't care. I was getting so sick of this. I hated Emrys's and Luca's pity, I hated the silent glares from Emry's mate every time he saw me, as if I were somehow a threat to his mate. I hated waking up before dawn, and the restless, freezing nights with nothing more than a thin, old blanket to cover up with. But first and foremost, I hated Rowan. I knew that it was Maeve's decision to have him train me, and he obviously did not want to be doing it as much as I did, but gods! The mans cold-heartedness was beginning to drive me into a corner. One minute he is snarling in my face, and the next he is making snide remarks, obviously trying to agitate me. The only reason being his own gain at getting under my skin.

As I stepped outside, I could not help but feel a small break in my growing stress as I noticed that at some point while I was working in the kitchen, the sun had broke through the spring clouds, making the day warmer than it had ever been since my arrival here. I stopped for a moment as I stepped out of the cover of trees. And looked up at the sky, closing my eyes and enjoying the warmth for a moment, latching onto it as if it were the only tether holding me in the middle of a stormy sea.

"You can sunbathe when you get back to Varese." A gruff voice resounded right behind me as Rowan's tall figure brushed past me, indicating that we were to begin our trek to the ruins once again. He walked with an effortless grace that somehow emanated the aura of the danger of a warrior. I glared daggers into his back as I followed him after a few moments of seething rage.

Shoving my hands deep into my pockets, I walked after him, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from yelling profanities at him in front of the tower guards as we passed beneath them. Normally, I would not have cared, but ever since my arrival here the first night where I taunted him and he beat me to a pulp with far too much ease than I would like to admit, I did not want to have it happen again with an audience this time.

As we made our way to the ruins, I could not help but be pulled back into what had happened a couple days ago when he had me walk through the barrows by myself. That creature had been haunting my nightmare's ever since. It was beautiful, whatever it was, but the pain it caused... it was like trying to close up a gaping wound with nothing more than my bare hands. I could not help but glance around, wondering where on earth it had gone to after that. It was still around here somewhere...

Shuddering even though the sun was beating down on me so hard that I found myself removing my jacket, we finally reached the godsforsaken ruins. I went through the motions that I was getting used to as I sat down and began to pretend I was actually putting in an effort to shift. As I my eyelids closed, I could feel Rowan's eyes on me, making my eyebrows furrow. He usually didn't stare at me this long. Normally, he would walk around the perimeter of the ruins, sometimes making snide comments that I needed to try harder, or threatening to make me chop wood again.

Feeling his gaze still upon me after a few moments, I peeked at him through one squinted eye, seeing him standing not far off, leaning against a tree, arms crossed and focusing on me with an intent that startled me.

"Is there a problem?" The words escaped my mouth before I could even attempt to reel them in

He stared at me for another moment before straightening up, taking a few steps closer. "You are not even trying, are you?"

Gritting my teeth, both eyes opened now, I looked up at him, practically spitting. "Are you kidding me? I have been doing everything you have told me to do. I can't 'just shift' as you always put it."

He bared his canines at me, leaning down, getting right in my face, making me want to scamper back. "No. I felt something this morning, when you were agitated there were flickers of something coming from you... but now, it's gone. There is nothing there, just as there is never anything there every time we are up here."

I was getting ready to retort, my mind slowly falling into a small panic at his nearness, not to mention the fact that he was even smarter than I gave him credit for. I didn't notice any flickers of magic inside of me this morning, but if he could sense that, then he now knows that I have not been able to conjure anything when he takes me here. He knows we have already wasted two weeks.

"You think this is some game?" Suddenly his hand was on my shoulder, his nails digging into my muscle as he pulled me up to me feet, his face so close now that our noses were practically touching.

"Get the hell off!" I wrenched free from his grip, backing away without even meaning to.

He stalked towards me quickly as I continued to back up, glancing around me as I searched for some type of defense. "You think you are clever don't you, _Princess_?" His tone dropped to a deadly, gravelly volume. "Well, you may not have been smart enough to figure this out, but while you were wasting my time, you are losing your own time as well."

My eyes widened when I suddenly backed right up into a tree, my back slamming against the rough bark with a wince. Before I could turn and walk away though, Rowan's arms were on both sides of me, blocking my way as his canines glistened, an expression of loathing on his face.

"Do you even care about your friends you have left behind in Adarlan? Do you even care that the people you love could be close to death if not already there?" His hot breath once again assaulted me, but I was beginning to go numb to his words. Or at least, trying to. I had to pull the walls up, if I thought about it any further then I would break. I would break, and he would see. About to bring my hands up to cover my ears, he spoke a final sentence. "No wonder Terrasen fell. You should have died along with your pathetic parents."

That was it. The final straw. I had fallen off of the ledge, and there was no going back. Without a seconds hesitation, my fist had connected with his jaw, my own canines snarling back at him. I watched the millisecond of surprise run across his features before I landed the next hit, this one the side of his head with such a force that he staggered back, now giving me leeway to stalk after him now.

"You... you don't even know what you have just said!" The world around me suddenly seemed brighter, I could hear the snaps of twigs and the crack of leaves as nearby forest animals fled in fear of the sudden raise in my voice. I could smell the dampness of the earth beneath my feet, and the awakening of the earth in spring.

He straightened up, putting himself in a defensive stance, lingering shock still on his face. "Celaena-"

"Fuck you! You do not know who I am, you do not know what I have been through and you insulted me in the-"

"Celaena! Stop. Look at yourself right now."

If his hands weren't raised in such a placating way, I would have smashed that small growing smile on his face clean off, but I faltered for a moment. Wait...

Reaching up with one of my hands, frozen in place, I felt the tip of one of my elongated ears. I ran my tongue over my sharpened canines, and took in a deep breath confirming my growing suspicions... I shifted.


	2. Chapter 2

(Thanks for all the follows and favorites, guys! I am glad that the first chapter was somewhat to your liking! Remember, anything that you absolutely loved, didn't really seem to care for, or something that you think could have been improved, let me know. After all, this is for you, my readers. Once again, if you are a member of Tumblr and a fan of Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas, please go to this website and follow me! I post everything involving Throne of Glass, not to mention, I will be more responsive to comments, questions and messages about the fanfic on there)

Chapter Two

The world around me almost seemed as if it were trembling. I could taste the recent rain on my tongue with every breath, among other things such as the pollen from the trees and growing earth. Hell, even the hairs on my body made me practically shiver by how surreal it felt. I raised my head and stared at Rowan, knowing that I must look like an excited child, but out of nowhere, the corners of his lips turned up into a small grin, knowing through his eyes that he was as alleviated as I was, at least, for the time being.

"How did I... I mean..." I began to stutter out, but did not even know how to finish the question.

"How did you shift?" I heard the crisp ruffle of grass as Rowan took a step towards me once again, this time without any threat coming off of him. His anger seemed to have dissipated and changed as quickly as my shifting did. "I put two and two together realizing that you seemed closer to a magical state when you were highly emotional." With a few more steps, he was about a yard away from me, crossing his arms in that ever languid position that screamed uncaring and pride.

My eyes narrowed as I realized what he was getting at. Just like in the castle, when Rowan and Fleetfoot had gone into the doorway to another world. My fear for them, my anger was what made me shift as soon as I crossed that threshold.

I could see the two places on rowan's face I managed to land a blow to were already beginning to bruise. Even though that gave me a small sense of satisfaction, I could not help but growl and bare my fangs at him in anger once again.

"You mean to tell me that you were saying those cruel things on purpose? Just to get a rise out of me?" My fists were clenching at my sides, Just as quickly as my anger had faded away, it was almost as bad as it was just a few moments ago again. "You were testing a theory?" I spat the word out at him.

His own eyes narrowed at me in return, giving me a stern look as if saying, _Are you really going to throw a fit again? It worked, didn't it, princess? _"If you want to look at it that way, then I suppose."

Rolling my eyes at him, I began to turn away, deciding that it would be best to drop this one, knowing full well that this time if I attempted to physically fight with Rowan again, I would not land a punch so easily. The only reason I got away with those first two was because he was shocked and his intention was to help me shift. I suppose that that was one good thing coming from all of this. Stalking away, I began glancing around me, the sunlight filtering through the tree branches, attempting to do everything in my power to calm my anger down. For some reason, around Rowan, my emotions were even more volatile than they normally were He made me feel more like a beast than a human...

…...

Later that evening, after Rowan and I had arrived back at the guards fortress. I had already changed back into my human form mainly because my anger had to fade away at some point. I could see the expression of disappointment in Rowan's eyes as the flash of green had me changing back in front of him, not even giving him a chance to train me with my gift of fire. I could not help but ponder on the way back down from the ruins, why Rowan did not get a face full of blue fire when I first changed. Perhaps some small part of my subconscious knew it would not be a good idea to turn my trainer to a crisp before we could even start our lessons. I would never get into Doranelle with that bad of an attitude.

As I skulked into the kitchen to find a clean cup to fill with fresh well water, I tensed as everyone in the fortress was already sitting down around the hearth to hear more of Emrys's ancient tales and stories. Rowan had not even followed me this far. As soon as we walked past the magical barriers, he wandered off to his own room. It was difficult for me to see him turning in early for the night. He seemed too stubborn and strong for that, I had to admit. Of course I pretended that I didn't even see him wander off as I headed toward the kitchens, hoping that I would be able to pass through without any notice. Emrys usually held his annual story-telling sessions when it was at least stormy out, so I could not help but feel my hopes be dashed as every head in the room looked to my entrance from the back door. Of course, no one said anything to me as I stood there, frozen for a moment. Even Emrys paused in mid-sentence.

Biting the inside of my cheek rather hard, I shoved my hands in my pockets and decided to just quickly cut through the room to get to the hallway. I would just drink the stale water left in the basin from this morning. It wasn't worth the extra attention to find a cup while all of these eyes were on me.

Nodding at Emrys because of my interruption, I quickly began making my way around the bodies cuddling close to the fire, the flames flickering off of their curious gazes. It maddened me how I seemed like such a mystery to them. Just before I could make it to the doorway that led to my room a ways off, a voice broke through the awkward quiet.

"Elentiya, why don't you stay and tell us one of your own tales from Adarlan? I am sure everyone is getting sick of my stories of this country. It would be refreshing." Emrys old, cracked but warm voice beckoned to me warmly and I could not help but glance back at him, halting in mid-step. I could tell he was trying to be inviting, to let me know that at least one of them would accept my company, but I still felt like too much of an outsider. In fact, I never wanted to be anything more. I would be out of here soon, on my way back to Adarlan after my business with the Queen, to help-

"Yeah! Tell us a story!" Luca chirped in, his happy tone making everyone else stir in either discomfort or nods of agreement.

"I'm sorry, but I do not really remember any of the Fae tales from Terrasen." With that, I continued towards my destination, this time with more urgency. I did not feel like talking to anyone. I did not want to have to talk about anything that was involved with my past. I had to keep that door shut, always.

As soon as I made it past the doorway and into the cool dark of the hall, I stopped and leaned against the wall. Normally, I could have handled that just fine, coolly blowing them off without a second thought, but for some reason, memories of my past were beginning to get too close to the surface as of late, and Emrys's question of talking about even tales from that part of my past set my nerves on edge. It was getting harder and harder to close that door lately, forcing a slow terror to build in the back of my throat.

Sighing, I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my face and staring at my feet for a moment before straightening up and heading down the hall towards my freezing room. I wouldn't lie, I hated the cold damp of that room, but being alone... I craved it more and more with each-

"Where do you think you're going?" As a rough, gravelly tone broke through the silence, I suddenly felt my wrist being grabbed, my body twisting around and facing someone in the dark shadows before I could even comprehend what was going on.

"Everyone has had enough of you... scent or no scent, you need to loosen up." The face, the voice... I did not quite recognize it. I think he was one of the guards who were on night duty, but I had no name for the face. I had never even spoken to him. One thing I could recognize though, was the strong scent of brandy on his breath as he gripped my wrist even more tightly.

I could not help but feel a small smirk tug at the corner of my lips. Normally, a girl would be frightened, being grabbed by a drunken man in the darkness of a hallway all alone, but this was going to be the most fun I would have for a while, and I knew it.

"I am not entirely sure what you are implying good sir, but I will give you a bit of advice for your own health. Let me go." Even in the dark light, I could see his eyes widen for a moment from the calm in my voice. Not a second later, though, he went back to the angry fool he was, jolting me forward so my face was a mere inches from his own.

"You trying to be funny?" His eyes lingered on my face for a moment before running down to the rest of my body. "You might not have been much when you showed up, ribs poking out and all that, but I knew you would start looking better after a few weeks. Your scent has been keeping all the other men away, but we are going to take our chances. You are too beau-"

I had had enough. Before he could finish his sentence, finalizing his intentions, my fist was already jabbing into his stomach, up and under his ribs; knocking the air from his lungs and walking away. A small flicker of satisfaction ran through me as I heard him wheeze, dropping my wrist and bending over, clutching his stomach as he tried to inhale oxygen but failing miserably.

"I don't know what all of this is about my scent, but you really should have listened to my advice. Goodnight." With a flick of my hair, I turned away from him as he tried to mutter something out, but I ignored it, heading to my rooms, reminding myself to lock my door when I got there. I could take on a number of men, but it is never fun to wake up with a stranger in my room with an intent that would not agree with me.

A small grin was still upon my lips as I turned the corner, almost to my room when I suddenly ran into someone, standing in the dark. No... two someone's. "What do we have here?" As soon as one of the men spoke, I realized what was happening. That man I had just gotten away from... he said ' We are going to take our chances..' Plural. I was being ambushed. I saw them both react at once, reaching out for me with speed that I had to admit was not human. Of course. They had Fae blood in them. This night be more difficult if they have had decent training..

Dodging their hands, I stepped forward, slamming my fist upward into one of their jaws, feeling their teeth rattle deep into my bone. The other, I grabbed by his rather long, raggedy hair and slammed his head into the stone wall with a shove hard enough to knock him out. Their grunts and groans of pain were signal enough for me to squeeze between them, the only one who managed to try and grasp at me was the one whose teeth I rattled. I dodged that easily enough as well and ran down the hall, past my room, knowing that going in there would be a trap I would be making for myself. Instead, I continued down the hall towards a door that led outside once again, to the other side of the fortress. If they were going to come after me, it would be a good spot to fight without getting interrupted.

I knew it seemed foolish to want to fight them alone, but I hadn't been in a brawl since Varese. Not to mention, men who were willing to gang up on a girl were not worthy to be soldiers. Even to that bitch of a Queen, Maeve. I am sure that if a true Fae soldier were to find out that a guard of their country was this lowly of a person, he would get more of a punishment than what I will be giving them. Another plus I had, was that at least one of them were drunk. I have had yet to meet a man who can fight even half as well as he normally could when he is inebriated.

Stepping out into the quickly fading evening light, I walked a few yards outward. No guards could visibly see this spot, and as long as I dealt with them quickly, it hopefully wouldn't draw any attention. I could feel the adrenaline in my blood beginning to pump as I stared at the doorway, knowing full well that my attacks had not done enough damage to cripple them for long. Sure enough, after a few moments of silence, the first man who practically stumbled out the door was the drunkard I ran into first. It appeared that he recovered more quickly than the other two men. His eyes were alight with pure fury, and it set my blood on fire. It was revolting that these three men had probably been planning this for a while now. They knew that everyone would either be on duty, or sitting in the kitchen listening to Emrys spin memories of the past. They knew the estimated time that Rowan and I would be arriving back from our so called 'training' and they knew the way to my room. They were probably planning on dragging me in there, in fact.

I really was hoping that I wouldn't draw this kind of attention to myself... especially from the bloody lip and black eye Rowan had given to me not long after my arrival here. At least in Adarlan, my reputation was respected enough to have people avoid any kind of conflict with me. Here, I was some nobody, half fae girl, who was in the charge of one of Queen Maeve's loyal servants. Perhaps after they saw that I had been injured by Rowan, they thought it would be alright to do their own kind of damage... I do know that the majority of the occupants here were male... Many of the females here already had mates. Perhaps this shouldn't have been so shocking after all...

The man halted for a moment, looking as if he were readying himself to give chase. I could not help but chuckle as he stopped and gazed at me drunkenly. Not soon after the moment of eye contact, the other two men barged out, in full tow, barely stopping in time to keep from running into their companion. They all looked around the same age, late twenties, not very clean or well kept. Their clothes had obviously gone without a washing or two, and all three of them, especially the drunkard came off with a very strong aura of lust and anger. I had to keep from rolling my eyes out of the nuisance of just having to look at them. This was going to be far too easy. Even as I eyed the weapons at their sides, I had had more training in my short lifetime than all three of them combined.

"Lets get this over with, then." I sighed, crossing my arms and eying them up and down, taking in their stances, which one I thought would be the most formidable and which one I did not need to worry about as much. A man who I was guessing was the one I had slammed into the wall suddenly burst out laughing.

"No wonder that Fae male struck you. Your pride is grating my ears."

The other two chuckled as well, relaxing at the joke the man made. I glowered at them all, feeling a flicker of anger rise up.

"If you are going to stand there all night and just talk I might as well leave. You obviously aren't even worth the pleasure it would be for me to knock your teeth down your throats." It was true, too. I was not going to stand here and listen to them talk about what had gone on between me and Rowan. He only struck me because I attacked him first and practically begged him to go ahead... but what did they know. I wasn't going to stand around and be insulted for something they didn't know about.

I knew that this reaction from me was strange. Normally, I would already be drawing blood from them because of that remark, but instead of it getting a rise out of me, I felt more defeated than anything else. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but after everything that happened with Nehemia, Chaol, Dorian... all those people dying in Adarlan... rebels, slaves, defenseless innocents, my flame was nothing more than a flickering coal losing it's heat. It was showing in everything I have been doing. My nonexistant attempts at shifting with Rowan. My lack of social skills with Emrys and Luca. I was breaking my promise to Nehemia already... the flame...

I found myself walking away, more done with what I was about to do than I had even known. I didn't care about the pitiful half-breed Fae males. I wanted to go back to my room and sit in the silence, hoping that I would fall asleep and drift away from the cruelty of reality at least for a brief while.

Heading off in the direction of the kitchen door once again, I shoved my hands in my pockets.

Next thing I knew, my arms were being grabbed by rough hands, holding them behind my back with such a force that I could feel the joints in my shoulders strain to hold the bone in place. A gasp of pain escaped my lips as realization hit me as hard as getting the air knocked out of my own lungs. I turned my back on them... It was against every single instinct, every single amount of training I have gone through. Life lessons. Never turn your back on an enemy unless you intend on running.

A growl escaped my lips as the damned drunkard was suddenly in my face, his revolting breath making me wish I had lost my ability to smell. I twisted and lurched, using every trick in the book that I had been taught, but I was now being held by two of them, looking up into the face of the third, a shitty grin spread across his features. These were not humans... I could tell by the firmness in the grips that held me, the steadiness in their hold. Dammit... what the hell am I doing...!

My chin was suddenly being gripped in the drunkards rough hands as my face was jerked up to meet his gaze. His hold was too tight to pull away and bite him. Instead I spit at him, full in the face. He paused for a moment before letting me go to wipe away the saliva dripping off of his face. He grinned, but not out of joy. No. It was a grin of pure loathing. I have only seen it a few times, but I knew that it was not a good sign. As he wiped his face off with the back of his other hand, he began to speak.

"Let's help Rowan out and dampen down that pride of yours a bit." Before I knew it it, he hit me with a force that made my head snap to the side, my neck sending a jolt of pain down my spine, making nausea hit me at a staggering rate. I struggled even harder, the cold chuckles of the men behind me making my skin crawl. As I kicked out with my legs, trying to blow at least one of their knees out from under them, someone's fingers was suddenly tangling in my hair, pulling my head back with a snap. I could not help but let out a yelp as my throat was exposed to the asshole in front of me.

Watching him bring his hand towards me, I could feel my heart beginning to speed up so fast that I feared it would suddenly go out. "Bastards!" I cried out as the drunkards fingers began trailing down from my throat to my collarbone and then-

The front of my shirt was suddenly ripped open, exposing my chest to the world. I could feel my eyes widening as I heard the loud rip, soon afterward, all the noise in the world faded out. I was pathetic for allowing it to get this far. What am I doing. Stop. Stop this. I squeezed my eyes shut desperately trying to reach down into my soul, searching for that flicker of magic. I need-

My eyes snapped open to the sound of choking in front of me. The drunkard had dropped his hand and was now gripping his throat, eyes bulging, staring at me as he tried to scream but could not intake a breath to do so.

Suddenly I was released, being pushed to the ground as the two men behind me let me go as if I were on fire. I glanced behind me to see them both in full run. The sound of footsteps off to my left coming from the direction of the fortress made me look over and there he was. Rowan Whitethorn. His blade was out, and there was such a look of fury in his eyes that I started to get up to run as well. He was terrifying..

Backing up, I grabbed the torn front of my shirt and covered my breasts as well as I could. For some reason this was almost worse than when I thought I was about to be taken by those men... How much had Rowan seen? I could feel shame burn through my entire body as the drunken man before me fell to the ground, having passed out from lack of oxygen. As Rowan neared us, he gave the man such a swift kick to the side that I swear I heard a crack come from his tibcage. The man woke up gasping for air, finally able to take a breath. But soon the gasps turned to whimpers as he clutched his side, curling up in pain. Rowan didn't stop for a moment though, stepping right up to me and gripping my shoulder.

"What the hell is wrong with you"


	3. Chapter 3

(I am so happy to see my efforts to have you talk to me on my tumblr page have worked! Thank you for all the questions and praise through private messaging and asks! Remember, if you want to reach me in the quickest way, contact me on this link and send me an ask or comment! I promise, I will respond so much more quickly this way, seeing as I only check my Fanfic account whenever I am going to upload a new chapter to one of my stories.

Really, though, thank you so much for the support! I promise this story will be getting better with each chapter. Drama, romance, and amazingness will be increasing with each new post, and to the reviewer who said "Really! You had to leave it there?!" Yes, I did ;p! I have found that if I leave each chapter with a cliffhanger, people become more and more hooked! **Shrugs** I won't lie, I will do anything I can to keep fans, and build fans. Anyways, enjoy Chapter Three!)

I was staring up into Rowan's eyes, just as I had been doing mere seconds before into the drunken bastard's face. This time, though, it was not with as much shock or fear. Believe me, seeing Rowan so extremely livid was purely terrifying, but at least I knew that any damage from him would be a bloodied lip, or chopping wood for a month straight. I did not have to worry about him doing what those men were about to do... "-And the next thing I know, I come out here, hearing what sounds like drunken brawling, and I see YOU having your chest exposed to the entirety of Mistward!" He was shouting so loudly that his words pierced my eardrums enough to make me physically wince. "Tell me, _Elentiya," _Again, I winced, knowing that he used the name given to me by Nehemia because we must now have onlookers other than the drunkard still clutching his side and moaning on the ground.

"How in the Gods names did you manage to get into such a predicament after five minutes of my departing from you?" His fingers seemed to be slowly digging into my shoulder with every word that escaped his mouth. His face was so utterly close to my own that I could see the flecks of brown in his pine green eyes. I could practically taste the anger coming off of him in wave after crashing wave. There was something else mingled with it but I refused to even acknowledge for fear that I was imagining things.

My brows furrowed in reaction as he shook me again, demanding an answer. I knew that if I did not respond soon, his snarling would turn into tearing at my throat. So, I quickly threw up my defensive walls as best as I could and managed to half shout back at him, "I assure you that I had no intentions of being attacked on the way to my room; nor was it my intention to let them-"

"What's all of this shouting out here?" Rowan and I both turned in the direction of a new voice breaking through our shouting match. Emrys. He was striding towards us, in the background everyone who had been in the kitchen listening to his ancient tales were all standing outside in front of the kitchen door, expressions varying from wide-eyed shock to suspicion and wariness.

Emrys, upon getting closer, walked over to the soldier who was still lying on the grass, eyes squeezed shut as he attempted to hold in his whimpers now that he realized he had an audience. "Darius? What in the Gods names..." As Emrys's hobble turned into a quickened hustle he knelt down by his side inspecting him before looking back up at us both accusingly. I could feel Rowan shudder from some unknown emotion before he dropped his hand from my shoulder, turning to face Emrys full on, crossing his arms with an expression that said _ Ask me... I DARE you_

Emrys had his mouth open, ready to let the questions pour out, then his eyes wandered to me who Rowan was half standing in front of, almost in a protective gesture... as if he did not want anyone seeing me in the state I was in. It wasn't enough cover to keep Emrys's eyes spotting my torn tunic that I had to now hold in place over my chest. His mouth snapped closed, lips pursing as he glanced back down at the man who I now knew whose name is Darius. Good. It was a name I would have a hard time forgetting.

After a few moments, Emrys pushed himself up off his knees with a grunt, an obvious look of distaste as he gave the drunken guard a last glance. He began to turn away, giving Rowan a slight nod before he hobbled back towards the other members of Mistward. "Let us go back inside now. This is something that we are not to be a part of." His gravelly but stern tone resounded across the grounds, immediately drawing a response from the onlookers. As he got closer to them, they all began turning away one by one to go inside. You could definitely tell though that they all had questions as to what was happening and why no one was helping the man lying in the dewy grass. I knew as soon as the backdoor to the kitchen groaned shut they would bombard him. The last person to go inside, even after Emrys, was his mate Malakai. Something about his expression said that he knew exactly what had happened. I could not help but shudder at him as he turned away to head inside as well.

I couldn't ponder on it for very long though because the next thing I knew, my arm was grabbed roughly, pulling me along. Rowan had taken hold of my upper arm, squeezing it so tightly that it took everything I had not to shake him loose. I would have, if I did not know that one wrong word or move from me and I would be on the ground more quickly than Darius had been.

Clutching my shirt together, I allowed him to pull me along, holding back all sorts of thoughts running through my mind. I wanted to go back to my room and at least put on a shirt that wasn't torn down the middle. I wanted to take a walk and let everything process. Hissing at him as he jerked my arm, signaling that I wasn't moving fast enough, we quickly walked past Darius, obviously trembling as Rowan got within physical reach of him. As we passed, it looked as if it took everything Rowan had to keep from spitting on his pathetic form. His soft words reached my ears barely audible, but knowing that the pointed ears of the man lying in the grass would be able to hear them loud and clear.

"Get that rib looked at if you can find a healer in the fortress that is willing to take a look at you. Then find your friends and I want you gone by dawn tomorrow. I do not care where you go, but if I see any of your faces again I assure you that you will not have known the true meaning of pain." With that we walked past, another whimper escaping the man. I almost felt sorry for the Demi-Fae. Rowan's wrath was something horrible to behold, and we both knew that if Rowan did lay his eyes upon him again that he would most suredly die.

…...

I was bustled into Rowan's warm yet well-worn room as he practically shook the doors frame from slamming it shut. I backed up a ways, the back of my legs bumping against the foot of his large bed. I half-expected him to start tearing into me right then and there, but instead he stormed past me, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. I watched him with wide eyes as he reached his dresser, almost pulling a drawer out onto the floor as he began to rummage through his clothing.

_Smack!_

Something cool and soft flew into my face, blocking my view and turning everything white for a few moments as I realized he was looking for something suitable for me to wear at the moment.

"It will be a bit big on you, but at least it will keep you more covered than that tattered thing."

As I reached up with a free hand to grasp the clothing, I spotted Rowan now on the other side of his room, facing his dying fireplace, arms crossed, obviously giving me time to change my shirt without his seeing. I did not know if I should thank him, or stay safe and remain silent in case he blew up again. I could see him practically trembling with anger still. Instead of the few moments after the situation calming him, he seemed to be increasing in rage. It made me wonder if something else was wrong. I thought that I would be scolded and told how pathetic I was for not being able to fight off mere "drunken Demi-Fae" but he seemed to be holding his tongue about it.

He cleared his throat, turning his head slightly, but not quite enough to see me. "If you do not hurry and change I will turn around." As he returned to staring at the embers of the fire I quickly fumbled with the shirt he had given to me, one hand pulling the tattered clothing up and over my head and tossing it on the floor, then pulling on the pine scented, overly-large shirt on my slight frame. He was definitely correct about it being big on me. It was so frumpy that my body had no shape being hidden under it. The neck though had ties to draw together, allowing me to have much more coverage over my chest than my most previous clothing. Just as I was finishing tying the strings together he turned around and walked over to me, grabbing the shirt I had thrown on the floor carelessly, and flung it into the fireplace, suddenly making the room brighter for a few moments as the fire ate it up hungrily, blazing.

This situation in and of itself was honestly strange and foreign to me. I had not been in Rowan's room before. The rugs were well worn, and the furniture was obviously several centuries old. I wondered how many years between his visits here while he was out in other lands fighting in wars across the sea had become dusted and dank, waiting for his return.

My eyes drifted away from him as I glanced around at it's interior, engraving the rooms image into my mind as I knew full well this might be the only time I would ever see it.

"Sit." Rowan demanded, gesturing towards his bed behind me. "You can stand if you wish, but you are going to be in here for a while so I suggest at least attempting to make yourself more comfortable."

Hesitating for a moment, biting my lip, I nodded once before walking around the foot of his bed and setting myself down onto the mattress, feeling my body sink into it's surprising softness. I could not help but feel a small bite of jealousy at his room in comparison to my freezing cold quarters, rock hard mattress, and small bit of blanket I had. His compared to mine was a chamber for a king.

I was jolted out of my small moment of jealousy as a scrape of a chair on cold stone sounded in front of me, Rowan setting the chair right in front of me, facing it away from me, but sitting in it to face me, his legs spread around the back of the chair, his arms folded across the top of it. I felt as if I were about to be in a long investigation. His eyes were narrowed, lips sloped downwards into a disapproving glare as he stared at me for a few moments.

"Do not give me such a look, Princess. Be thankful I have enough patience to keep myself from sending you away with those other men that are now banned."

"What?!" My voice tore from my throat in an almost pitiful howl. "What the hell did I do wrong? I wasn't the one who was-"

He held his hand up to silence me, and for some reason my voice died as quickly as his hand shot up. Where was all this compliance coming from? I was beginning to worry for myself. Maybe it was because he saved me from a fate that would have most assuredly had that flickering ember inside of me go out for good.

"I do not know what you did wrong. That is why we are sitting here. When you tell me what happened, then I will decide what your punishment will be." An unexpected fire erupted from my core, I could practically feel the magic ripple beneath it's barrier, almost lashing out at him in physical flame.

"I was not informed that it is a woman's fault in any way when someone has attempted to rape her." The venom in my voice seeped out with a lash that even surprised me. "Nor was I informed that she would be 'punished' for it!"

There was a creak as Rowan was suddenly leaning forward in his chair, my chin in his firm grasp before I could even flinch back. "One more snide remark from you and you can kiss Doranelle goodbye, Aelin."

Hissing, I shook out of his grip , smacking his arm away, making him respond with his own hiss of anger.

"Look, I was just heading to my room and then I was ambushed. I managed to get away from them but they followed me." Inside my head, I decided it would be best to hold back the small bit of information that I actually waited for them to come outside, with all intentions to beat them senseless. I would definitely be pinned to the bed with his fangs at my throat if he knew that. Not to mention, that senseless thinking was what got me in the position he saw me in several minutes ago. Another risk of my mortality.

He slowly leaned back, eyes looking at me with suspicion, as if he knew I was being vague. "Have you talked with any of those men before? Perhaps... showing advances? You know that the majority of our fortress is male, and it is sad to say that any slight incentive they could take to heart. "

I shook my head violently, already knowing where this was headed. "No way in the deepest circle of hell. I barely even recognized their faces, let alone knew their names or have spoken with them. The drunken one even mentioned something about my scent... It sounded like it was an adherence to them."

Upon hearing that, Rowan nodded in confirmation. "Fae are a much more predatory species as you well know. Even the Demi-Fae have far keener instincts in comparison to a full-blooded human. Upon your arrival you have had a scent coming off of you that states that you are to be left alone. When a female gives off that scent, no one will dare get too close to her for fear that their throats will be ripped out. Females usually seem far more dangerous than males when they have that sort of scent."

My brows furrowed in confusion upon hearing that. I was giving off a scent? This was news to me. I knew that Fae were very feral and animalistic in comparison to humans but that even sounded far fetched. It would make sense though why I was avoided so much around here. I had enjoyed it at such a high rate that I thought my glares and silence had been the main cause. I wonder how Rowan felt then, having to be around someone who screamed danger to his senses. Of course, I wasn't that much of a threat, seeing as he was a full Fae warrior and had more obvious skill in his left hand than I had had in my entire body.

"But... if that is true, then why did they approach me? If it's against their instincts..." My voice died out.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing the inner corners of his eyes as if it would rid him of my naivety. "To be honest, I am a bit curious about it as well. If Darius was the instigator though, and obviously drunk, perhaps he and his friends had conversed about you before, and in his drunken state was able to talk them into joining him. Even part Fae's inhibitions can be swayed when they have consumed a certain amount of alcohol. And if he had friends to have his back, that would give him even more assurance."

I crossed my arms, still feeling pretty confused. What he said made sense, but... "In Terrasen, whenever the subject of Doranelle's warriors came up... there were always words I would hear. Things like 'honorable' and 'pure of heart'. Even though those men were not full-fledged Fae, I thought that the Queen would have them better trained in such lowly actions..."

A low growl resounded from Rowans throat and I glanced up at him. "I understand what you are getting at. I honestly do not know what to tell you, Aelin. Some men, their hearts are already too marred before they arrive upon our doorsteps. Not to mention, there are things that Maeve attempts to keep behind locked doors about her citizens. Even those of the Demi-Fae. When I tell you that we are more animal than human, I mean that in ALL aspects. Some of us live up to that statement in a more true way than we would ever like to admit." His eyes averted from mine for a moment, and I could see hundreds of stories that were similar to what happened today flash across his features. Obviously, some of them had been far worse than what was about to happen to me.

I could only slowly nod in response, even as his eyes were averted. "I see." I could not help but feel a bit of disappointment in this new information about the Fae. For some reason, even though their race in general terrified me, I always saw them as some kind of higher being in intelligence and grace. Yes they were deadly and feral but...

Biting my lip, I moved to stand up. I wanted to go back to my room. I had had enough of this conversation for now. Not to mention, what had just happened was still sinking in and it was getting to the point where it had sank in just enough that I needed to be alone with myself. But as I moved to stand up, Rowan's head snapped back in my direction, the shame in his eyes changing to that of a prowling predator.

"We aren't finished. I still do not understand how you allowed them to put you in that position that I walked out on." His eyes flashed deadly. I could see it in his eyes, what he was practically voicing to me. _You aren't the type of person who would let men get you in that position. How could you let it have gone that far?_

Now it was my turn to look away in shame. Slowly, I sat back down, knowing that if I were to try to walk out right now I would physically see that animal prowling behind Rowan's features. "I turned my back on them... I didn't want to fight. I wanted.. to go back to my room." He took in a sharp breath to begin the onslaught of reprimands but I looked him in the eye, stopping him. "I know! Rowan... Even I don't know what put me in that state of mind. Trust me, I was caught off guard in such a way that I couldn't... I don't know why I let my guard down. Believe me. Please.." My voice ended in a pathetic bleat. I was losing myself. That flame … where had it gone?

"Aelin..."

I growled in response to him having called me by that name for the third time in a row. It was beginning to really rub me the wrong way. "Stop calling me by that name! You know I hate it."

I didn't notice that I had looked away from him again during that brief moment, so as I looked back towards him, I saw something in his expression that I had never seen before. It was so shocking that I could only stare. All the defenses and verbal assaults I had built up vanished upon seeing that face. Pity.

"Oh Gods..."


	4. Chapter 4

(*Drum rolls*... Chapter Four is here! FINALLY! Right?! Haha, apologies. I have to be in a creative/inspired mood to continue my writing and these past few weeks have been pretty stressful and crazy for me, so I haven't been at all in the mood to write. Thanks for your patience! Remember, if you want to talk to me in a way where I will respond more quickly or answer your questions, go t and look up the blog everythingthroneofglass. I would love to have a convo with you or answer any questions you might have! Not to mention, my blog is filled with everything about TOG ;) ))

I stared at Rowan for a few moments, suddenly overcome by something that could only be described as a wave of darkness and anger rise up in my my chest, fuming out of me like a spout of steam. I was on my feet in less than a heartbeat, my hands clenched into fists to keep from hitting away that expression etched upon his features. I hated pity. I hated being looked down upon because of something that happened in my past, or something that would be considered a weakness or a hindrance. I have been through hell and back, and I knew that with everything I have gone through so far, and what was yet to come, pity is an affront to all of my efforts and pains.

As soon as I was on my feet, a snarl ripping from my throat, I watched as Rowan's pity turned to shock, then quickly into a defensive yet confused scowl. He stood up as well, even taking a step back, acting as if that measly old chair was a barrier between me and him. "I don't know what you are trying to accomplish in here, other than getting my side of the story, but I swear to god Rowan..." My words ripped from my throat and I felt a surge of panic rise up in me as it almost felt like a sob was rising up from my lungs.

Before I could finish, he snarled back in response, acting upon instinct and almost... almost out of defense, as if he himself knew that he was on the brink of that impossibility. That fine line between us, we were not friends. Hell, I did not even want to see his face again once I had met with Maeve and received my answers. To put it frankly, to have that Fae male not only see a side of me I never wanted showing, but to feel pity for me because of it, made me want to retch.

"Something wrong, Princess?" I could see the green in his eyes from here turn to a blazing pine, almost glowing with ferocity. "You don't want someone to see that you are vulnerable?" He practically spat at me, I could feel my anger die down into that same wretched tiredness, but I refused to let him see it. I glared back at him, feeling my Fae side suddenly snap into place, the pain was excruciating but I welcomed it with open arms as I bared my fangs at him, shaking in place.

"Go to hell. You do not know me, nor will you ever, so don't get offended when things don't go your way." With that, I gave him a rude gesture and began to head for the door in a huff, desperately craving that pale sunlight and mist outside. I needed to go on a run. A long one. It would be a miracle if I even got the courage to end up coming back.

But before I could even take a step, the chair that was between us was suddenly flying into the wall to my left, smashing into splinters and broken bits of wood with a swipe of Rowan's arm. I did not even have time to flinch out the incredible boom of the impact of the chair with the wall before I suddenly found myself pressed into the soft mattress of Rowan's bed, my hair being gripped by one of his hands while the other held me down by my shoulder, disabling me from even attempting to get up. He was kneeling over me, one of his knees between my legs as he gripped my hair more tightly, pulling my head back to expose my neck, his fangs inches away from my throat.

My instincts immediately kicked into gear, my body already beginning to buck in response to the position that I suddenly found myself in. This was the second time today that I had been immobilized by a Fae male and to be honest, this second time around almost seemed worse than the first time. As if in response to my thoughts, I felt a familiar flame embedded within my chest begin to crackle and rise in response to the threat that was hovering over my exposed neck. I could not help but internally roll my eyes, wishing that my body had responded this way when I had been assaulted the first time today.

My eyes had been squeezed shut at the pain that was radiating from my scalp as Rowan did not hold back by keeping a firm grip on the top part of my hair, he did not even loosen it enough to allow my head to have any kind of movement. As soon as I began to struggle he snarled in such a threatening, low tone that I had to force myself to stop moving. My blood would be staining his sheets within moments if I kept fighting him.

So, I forced myself to shut down my muscles, the only movement coming from me was the heaving of my chest as I tried to calm myself down. Opening my eyes, I glanced down at the male who was hovering over me, his eyes wild with rage and something that I could not fathom. It almost looked like some kind of pain. I have seen it before, in men who I had hurt before killing them. They would turn their pain into anger to keep themselves in check for defense. My eyes quickly averted from his own when they flicked from my exposed throat over to meet my gaze, his pupils dilating in an eerily predatory way as he made eye contact with me. I stared at the ceiling, clenching my teeth for a moment before speaking, attempting to reel in the flames that were mere seconds from erupting beneath my skin.

"Rowan... get off of me. NOW." As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I could feel his grip tighten on the fistful of hair he had, and his other hand curled around my shoulder as he pressed it further into the mattress, making a slash of pain wrap around the joint as it strained against the pressure.

"No. You will listen to me Aelin. You have got to get this damned arrogance in check. I know what you are doing, because I see it in myself every day. It's going to be your downfall. You have to let someone in."

He didn't understand, the reason I needed him to get off of me wasn't so much of the fact that I did not want to let him into that darkest part of me, it was more because of the fact that if I lay here under his grip much longer, the entirety of Mistward was going to catch fire. It happened that day at the library... it happened countless times at the palace before the magic had been taken away and all hell was set loose... if I felt threatened, my body reacted in order to protect me, whether I wanted it to or not. Rowan was going to be set aflame.

"Rowan, just get the hell off!" As soon as I started struggling again, I felt his fangs at my throat, beginning to slowly sink into the skin. As soon as my body felt that first prickle of pain at my exposed neck, my control turned to ash before my eyes. As quickly as he put his mouth to my skin, his entire room leaped into flame and fire. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying that no one would get injured too badly, but as soon as I shut my eyes, the sound of roaring flames silenced.

Suddenly I couldn't breathe. Rowan had cut out the air in the room. My eyes flew open and Rowan had retracted his fangs, his head moved up to my own, his face inches from me. I began to claw at him desperately with one of my arms, pounding on his chest to let me breathe but he just stared at me. As I grew more and more desperate, my fists pounding becoming less and less strong, I watched in horror as little black dots began to fill my vision. That wasn't what horrified me though. It was there, once again, even stronger than before. In his eyes. That gods forsaken pity.

…...

The first thing that assaulted my senses was the sound of rain pattering against a window. Wind was blowing hard outside. What jolted me out of my sleep though, was the feeling of being warm. I was never warm. It was always cold in my room. My hands immediately felt for the thin blanket that I usually became huddled in every night, and instead found a thick, warm quilt made from a soft material. There were no scratchy sheets beneath me, nor a thin pillow barely giving my neck support. Instead it felt as if I had fallen asleep upon a heated cloud, every muscle in my body relaxed and at an ease I had not felt in months.

As the realization hit me of where I was, my eyes flew open and I sat up in Rowan's bed, scanning the room to find him. He wasn't far. In fact, he was sitting at his worn desk, looking over what looked like some sort of map. His shirt was off, and he was only wearing his usual leather trousers. His hair looked a mess, as if he had just gotten up. The thought jolted through me like electricity and my gaze flew to the spot nearest me on the bed, and sure enough, the blankets had been thrown back, revealing an obvious impression in the bed where he had been laying.

What time was it? I looked over at the window, desperate to know how long I had been out, and it looked like early morning. It was hard to tell though, with the clouds covering the sky overhead. The spring rains here were relentless, and the storms were enough to be a menace. As thunder struck over head, I glanced back at Rowan, still in a state of shock that he had probably been laying next to me most of the night as I was... sleeping? Unconscious?

He cut off my air. He... Why didn't I wake up right afterward?

I put my hand to my forehead, brushing away the stray strands of hair in the process, still feeling a tingling pain in my scalp from where he had gripped my hair the day before. I eyed the door at the end of the bed. It would just take a quick crawl across the enormous bed, a leap for the door and I could get away. But would he even stop me if I ran? Where would I go? Hide in my bedroom only to find him at my door by tomorrow at the latest to resume our training? I couldn't do that. Not after the whole situation he had put me through. I could leave for good though...

The ideas began to pour into my brain as the thought hit me. I could leave. I could pack what little things I had, grab some food from the kitchen, and walk out the door back to the kingdom of my mothers kin. Then I - "I have never heard someone snore so loudly in all my life." Rowan's voice was so sudden, breaking the silence that as soon as it cut through my thoughts, I had to keep from letting out a squeak of shock as my gaze snapped towards him. He was turned around in his seat (Seems like he found a new chair at some point) gazing at me with something between a smirk and an annoyed expression. "You kept me up half the damned night. I was half tempted to find something to plug your nose with."

I stared at him in horrified shock for a few moments, feeling as if running for the door was more and more of the better option than sticking around and listening to him insult my sleeping methods on top of everything else that had already transpired.

"You... you ASSHOLE!" I tossed the blankets back, secretly happy that I was at least in the same attire I had been in before he suffocated me.

"You made me black out! Y-you pinned me down and practically tore my throat out, and now I find myself waking up in your gods damned BED?!" He looked at me boredly, turning back to his map, his back facing me, shutting me out. Oh no, I wasn't done. "And here you are, acting as if we are some married couple who just woke up from a spat!" I gripped the pillow next to me in one of my hands and tossed it with a ferocity that even shocked me a bit. He heard it coming and tried to duck it, but it still hit him in the back of his head with a satisfying thump.

"Do you have ANY sense of normality? Did you ever think that after I had been almost raped by three men, that it would be a good fucking idea to knock me out and sleep next to me all night long?" I was standing up on his bed, fuming as he slowly stood up from his desk, back still facing me as the pillow landed on the floor. "I can't BELIEVE that even YOU would think that this would be okay in any way whatsoever. I do not share my bed with men unless they are greatly deserving, and you crossed so many lines that I-" Suddenly the rumpled and twisted blanket that I had been standing upon was pulled out from under me with a snap, and the next thing I knew, I was careening towards the floor, landing on the aged wood with a smack, my knees and elbows screaming in pain.

I began to scramble up off of the floor, fists raised and ready to slam them into Rowan's jaw, but he was already walking out of the room, shoving his hands into his pockets without so much as a glance at me as he mumbled. "There is breakfast on the nightstand if you are hungry. Once you are dressed, we are going out." With that he slammed the door, and I just stood there, slack-jawed, staring at the damned door, feeling as if I had fallen into some strange dream that I could not escape.

After a few moments, I glanced behind me slowly, almost in fear at the nightstand beside the bed, and sure enough, there was a bowl of still steaming porridge, a huge slice of buttered toast, and a hot mug of tea. I wanted to start screaming and ripping my hair out. What the hell was going on here?!

Begrudgingly, I glanced back at the door for a moment, hoping that Rowan would stay out of the room. My pride screamed at me to ignore the food lying on the nightstand, but the smell of the porridge, the honey and sugar and the hot buttered bread had me watering at the mouth. My energy was low from that flare up I had yesterday, and I was more hungry than I realized. I still wanted to know how I slept for so long without waking up. Had Rowan dosed me with something while I was unconscious? The image in and of itself sounded... wrong to me.

Sauntering over to the steaming food and drink, I grumbled as I sat upon the mess of a bed and began to angrily tear into it. Practically burning myself on the oatmeal and tea at least a dozen times, I finished the food quickly, doing my best to keep from shattering the dishes upon the floor when I was done.

I was furious for so many reasons that I did not even know where to begin. It was like looking at a huge mesh of emotions that was so compacted I did not know where to begin to start picking them apart. Growling I began to walk out of the room to head down to my own to find some clothes, but just before I grabbed the doorknob, I spotted a freshly pressed, clean set of clothes folded neatly on the end of Rowan's desk. The same plain tunic and trousers that I worse every day here. It was so hard for me to imagine Rowan bringing them into the room and folding them like that for me.

Shaking my head free of the strange image, I quickly changed out of his too-large shirt, realizing that if someone were to walk in on us sleeping together, seeing my in his clothing it would seem far too obvious to an onlooker that we were most definitely more than just friends. And we were not even that. A could feel a hot blush flame upon my cheeks as I tossed his shirt onto his bed, and walked out of his room, shoving my own hands in my pockets just as he was. I felt embarrassed at the entire situation... I was still angry with him for having pinned me to his bed last night. In fact I was fuming. But this mornings happenings came as such a shock that it knocked me off-kilter.

He said we were going out. Did that mean training? Whenever we were to go train, he never said 'going out' he usually said 'hurry up and get out of bed or I will give you double duties in the kitchen.'

Does that mean we are doing something different today?

I was biting my lip by the time I made it down to the kitchens, not sure if I was still supposed to do my scullery duties before I left with Rowan. As soon as I made it to the bottom of the steps, I spotted Emrys at the sink, Luca at his usual place at the counter chopping onions, and Rowan standing next to Malakai near the table. Right when I entered the room though, whatever conversation that Rowan and him must have been having had immediately ceased. I could tell from Emrys's tensed shoulders, and Luca's unusually tight jaw and pale features that it had been a rather intense conversation. I wondered if Rowan was making sure that those three men had left already. Malakai was in charge of the entire guard after all.

Rowan made eye contact with me for a mere second before turning to walk out the back of the kitchen doors into the rain and wind. I knew that he was expecting me to follow. I threw my cloak over my head, bracing myself for the onslaught of sideways flying droplets, attempting to keep my cheeks from burning red again and ridding myself of that annoying re-occurring knowledge that I had slept beside him last night.

As I crossed the room, I felt someone's eyes upon me and I glanced over at Malakai who gave me what I could only describe as a grin, but his teeth were bared and it almost looked as if he was challenging me. As I felt my eyes widen, he quickly turned away, falling out of my vision as I walked out the door. What the hell was that all about?


End file.
